leт'ѕ ⚜ wrιтe (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
indirectly) wrote2012-02-14 11:41 pm
indirectly) wrote2012-02-14 11:41 pm
Entry tags:
[Roleplay] Questionable
Title: Questionable
What: Amelia Steinbeck(recluserose) takes a moment to think about her weird friendship with Warren West (spellbent).
Notes: Written in first person POV because I can and Amelia likes inner monologuethat and VN style whee. Why do I write so late at night...
When Micheal confronted me about him and some of my newly found company, all I could really do was to coolly reply, "It's none of your business."
I couldn't think of anything else to retort with because Micheal's concerns about my choice in companions, particularly one being Warren West, were not unfounded. All of his worries about how he could be a dangerous person were in fact, 100% correct. He was a wizard from a world different from our own, but his magic (narrowed and focused as it was) was no less dangerous and his usage of his skills often didn't have much to do with anything that most would consider moral. Warren admitted it himself; he was not a good person.
I suppose I'm just fortunate because I happen to be much more dangerous than he is. That very fact is what started our acquaintance and eventual friendship (it's still a wonder we even progressed to that point) now that I look back on it. The question that remains and lingers in the back of my mind at times, however, is why? Of course Warren was smart enough to not test the patience of someone who outranked him, but was that all there was to it?
When it comes to most matters, I've been told that I am quite practical. Forging companionship and maintaining it with Warren West is probably one of my more illogical and impractical decisions. There were several obvious reasons as to why this would not last. Maybe he'll try to take advantage of this connection. Maybe he'll end up doing something I absolutely abhor to the point where I give up my neutral position in his matters.
Maybe our friendship wouldn't be worth anything to him in the end and I'm just wasting my time.
Warren told me once that he didn't have people he could really call 'friends.' In that regard perhaps I'm being arrogant in thinking I'm an exception? I lingered some more on the topic and inevitably, I began thinking of those seemingly insignificant moments where I spent time with him.
I remembered ten years ago when I was just a girl and we had tea together in the park and parted not long after. There was that time we drank at the Red Divine like it was just any other night although it was my first time seeing him in ten years and I was no longer a girl. More time was spent together and I recall being flustered when he asked if our dinner together could be considered a date. And then that one weekend where my home was in chaos due to an unwanted party, I remember another compliment that made me unnaturally pleased.
The relation among all these events were that I had only seen the good expressed towards me. I reminded myself that Warren was being truthful when he said he was by no means a 'good' person. When I reached this conclusion I suddenly felt an ache and one nagging thought telling me, it's not worth it. And yet...
So why am I still friends with Warren? Simple.
I don't see it as a waste.
What: Amelia Steinbeck(
recluserose) takes a moment to think about her weird friendship with Warren West (spellbent).Notes: Written in first person POV because I can and Amelia likes inner monologue
When Micheal confronted me about him and some of my newly found company, all I could really do was to coolly reply, "It's none of your business."
I couldn't think of anything else to retort with because Micheal's concerns about my choice in companions, particularly one being Warren West, were not unfounded. All of his worries about how he could be a dangerous person were in fact, 100% correct. He was a wizard from a world different from our own, but his magic (narrowed and focused as it was) was no less dangerous and his usage of his skills often didn't have much to do with anything that most would consider moral. Warren admitted it himself; he was not a good person.
I suppose I'm just fortunate because I happen to be much more dangerous than he is. That very fact is what started our acquaintance and eventual friendship (it's still a wonder we even progressed to that point) now that I look back on it. The question that remains and lingers in the back of my mind at times, however, is why? Of course Warren was smart enough to not test the patience of someone who outranked him, but was that all there was to it?
When it comes to most matters, I've been told that I am quite practical. Forging companionship and maintaining it with Warren West is probably one of my more illogical and impractical decisions. There were several obvious reasons as to why this would not last. Maybe he'll try to take advantage of this connection. Maybe he'll end up doing something I absolutely abhor to the point where I give up my neutral position in his matters.
Maybe our friendship wouldn't be worth anything to him in the end and I'm just wasting my time.
Warren told me once that he didn't have people he could really call 'friends.' In that regard perhaps I'm being arrogant in thinking I'm an exception? I lingered some more on the topic and inevitably, I began thinking of those seemingly insignificant moments where I spent time with him.
I remembered ten years ago when I was just a girl and we had tea together in the park and parted not long after. There was that time we drank at the Red Divine like it was just any other night although it was my first time seeing him in ten years and I was no longer a girl. More time was spent together and I recall being flustered when he asked if our dinner together could be considered a date. And then that one weekend where my home was in chaos due to an unwanted party, I remember another compliment that made me unnaturally pleased.
The relation among all these events were that I had only seen the good expressed towards me. I reminded myself that Warren was being truthful when he said he was by no means a 'good' person. When I reached this conclusion I suddenly felt an ache and one nagging thought telling me, it's not worth it. And yet...
So why am I still friends with Warren? Simple.
I don't see it as a waste.